Dear dairy
by Mini people
Summary: this is a humor fic about Kyoya having to write in a dairy. Please review! some cursing.
1. Chapter 1

No one belongs to me! Please review! I am also taking requests! Private message me if you a request and dear god please ask me if I know the manga or anime first.

_**a/n: Kyoya is crazy. This fic is for humor not anything else so do not bitch to me. This is just a dairy about his day to day life and how he feels and since this is humor it will be kind of oc.**_

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**Day one: it begins**

_Dear dairy,_

_Time:7:45 pm _

_Hello, I am Kyoya Ootori. I am writing in this for one reason: my therapist recommend. Now I guess to start this off I should say a little bit about myself. I am in high school; a very rich snob filled one at that. I am in this thing called the host club, which is where me and a bunch of other men flirt with women, basically whoring ourselves out to them. It brings in money so I do not care. I love money; money makes my empty heart flutter._

_I have a few siblings none of whom I really care for. My mother is dead. My father, well he is an asshole and hates me massively. My friends are stupid, they also work in the host club, and I hate them. Tamaki (which is a dumb blonde) is sort of my friend; I have known him for years. Mori is another male I associate myself with, he is tall and silent I think I like him the most. Hunny is a sweet boy who loves candy, he is very nice. Hikaru and Kaoru are a set of twins whom I am pretty sure are deep into incest because that is way too good acting. Haruhi is the last, she dresses as a man, she owes me money and actually thinks I will let her leave afterwards, ha-ha I won't believe me I won't._

_My life revolves around my father, I am the third child which I guess means to hate me and that I will never amount to anything. I will put him in his grave one day . _

_Life, a meager since of everything seems to be everyone's goal but mine is….death because that is how I beat this hell of a life. I have no fear for one day I will go, I wonder if anyone will notice my passing._

_Back to what's happing now: I have a stupid blonde knocking upon my door and a dim-witted sister whom is doing it with him, ugh why can't I ever have a moment to myself in this place. I will not answer; I hope they'll go away. I think if these two dumbasses continue I just might kill them both, it would bring me such great pleasure._

_They finally left something about how I am the high-blood pressure lord bullshit. Fuck them when will I need friends by the end of the day all I need is me! Everyone else is stupid as hell and could never compare to my intelligence never! I fucking hate them! My sister is always poor Kyoya god dammit I don't need their fucking pity of sad attempts at friendship and love! _

_Time: 11:29_

_Hello I had leave. I guess I kind of like having friends sometimes. Tamaki would not leave until he saw me. He has this new plan for the host club; his spark of genius has made me very happy. See women fawn all over us and will do absolutely anything to see us, we take pictures and sell them (me) and of course make calendars, magazines, posters, everything even auctioning items that we use! Tamaki has at the moment one my friendship with his idea: Action figures of the host club and stuffed animals! I'm very happy about this outcome! I can taste the money we are going to make! I have drooling at the dollar signs._

_I think I should retire for the night, even though I am not really tired. I will write in this horrible little thing tomorrow maybe I am not sure yet._

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_Please review!_


	2. Chapter 2

No one belongs to me! Please review for me!

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Day 2: boredom

_Dear dairy,_

_Time: 4:15 pm_

_Hello again. Today by far has gone pretty well. Of course the host club went on a crazy adventure even though it was unneeded, and very bothersome! Let me recap_

_Tamaki is a perv_

_Hikaru and Kaoru are pervs_

_If Haruhi is around bad things will happen and people will attack_

_That is exactly how my day went. Tamaki going off about how cute the member in drag is and then Hikaru and Kaoru were trying to annoy the king into giving up Haruhi. Basically today was a horrid affair but it got better, we made a lot of money today will our new dolls._

_I have been thinking it over that maybe money isn't everything…I had you fooled didn't i. Money is everything and no one can make me forget that. Yay for money. _

_Haruhi is so naïve it is very pitiful. It is so easy to extort her. I wish she could at least figure it out that she can never leave the host club; I mean Tamaki would probably stalk her down! I think he might be insane just a tad bit. The poor girl is so naïve and can't even realize that most of the host club finds her attractive, but I guess that cannot be helped. I for one do not really find her appealing, she is not ugly but I guess I just do not have romantic needs at the moment._

_My father yelled at me again today. I wish he could see now that I feel nothing not a damn thing about him, I try to care I really do. It's so easy to fake emotions for these people I almost believe my façade. _

_I think I might try to get Neko-senpai to join the host club, I found out that women find his darkness very attractive. I do not think that he would go for it though, but maybe if I get Renge to help me then just maybe he will join. _

_Tamaki is being less annoying today, which has made me very happy. He tried not to talk so much around me. I almost hit the twins today. They almost spilled Haruhi's secret to the rest of school! I swear I will kill them before I lose a dollar to them!_

_Oh yes and something else is happing around this school as well. It seems that Hunny's young brother tried to attack him again today, but of course Hunny destroyed the poor boy. The reason why Chika hates Hunny is because he thinks he is an alien! I really wanted to strike this small middle school kid down and crush his self-esteem! I have to say I like Mori's little brother a lot better, he is bearable._

_I have been instructed by my doctor to actually talk about my feelings instead of everything going on around me so here is my attempt._

_Right now I am feeling content with life that is basically all I can say. I know how I feel and I feel content not any other dumb emotion. Doctors are so much dumber then what I took them for; my family owns hospitals, so I thought that they would at least be able to understand a male teen. It seems that they cannot though and it proves my intelligence is way above theirs._

_I know I am smarter then all of these people, every one of them is below my skill! I am smart. I am handsome. I am rich. I am powerful. My doctor told me also to list some of my qualities. _

_Doctors what crocks. All they want is money; mmm maybe I should aspire to be a doctor?_

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Please review! I hope you all like it!


	3. Chapter 3

No one belongs to me! Please review!

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_Dear dairy,_

_Time: 7:26 pm_

_Okay I am massively pissed off. Today a motherfucking butch dyke tried to down my profits by stealing Haruhi! Fucking sluts trying to steal my pawn, her life is mine. she owes me money and will thus stay mine._

_Tamaki made us fucking dress as women to try to gain back Haruhi which pisses me off even more. god I hate that fucking idiot, I do not have anything against drag queens but enough is a fucking enough. If it weren't for the money I wouldn't even be in this stupid ass club._

_I hate this fucking school and everyone in it. Everyone can kiss my ass. One day when I rule this world I will exterminate them and feed them to the dogs._

_Oh yes I forgot to write about something that happened last week. We met Haruhi's dad. Well, I already knew him, that's how I get my info on the poor girl. He hit on us hard. it made me laugh. He hates Tamaki very much, even flung the blonde across the room. Her father is very nice though and cares for Haruhi a lot. I sometimes wish I had a family who cared, but then I remember one day I will own them._

_Haruhi is still not getting the fact Tamaki likes her. She really needs to let the boy know how she feels. My poor Haruhi will never realize that she likes him as well, probably until it is too late, breaking both of their hearts in the process. Fools in love, how cliché the prince in the pauper. I wonder how it will work out for them. Love is a hard game or so I've heard so I hope they play it well. Even though the thought of their children makes me shudder._

_Besides fighting some idiotic Haruhi fan-girls today has gone well and besides me in a dress also. I will never ever wear a motherfucking dress again. Tamaki might have liked being in a dress a little too much, he took the act very far._

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_Please review for the sake of my sanity!  
_


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